I can’t say that if asked to describe myself that confident would be terribly high on the list. I tend to second guess and in the spirit of honesty, failure scares me to the point that my flesh would rather that I not try at all. Historically I always felt that when I failed it said something about my character, that I wasn’t good enough. My confidence hinged upon my performance, my looks, my intelligence, or my relationships rather than my God.
It has been a journey over the past eight years that I have been walking with my King to realize the connection between placing my confidence or my worth in these finite places to the instability of thought that I had been plagued with. I could be feeling great until someone prettier, smarter, more eloquent, more spiritual could walk into the room and then suddenly I’m questioning everything. All of the confidence that I thought I had, that I was so sure of, was gone in an instant. In its place, I am filled with self-doubt and bombarded with questions.
These things, these words of doubt would then become my mantra, they’d run through my head like machine-gun fire as I stumbled over the same things again and again and again. That’s the thing about the assault on our thoughts, in the midst of the attack it feels like there is nowhere to hide. Everywhere I go, I am there and so the thoughts follow.
Now, I feel the need to interject right here and say that I have found a massive amount of freedom from this over the years. Yes, the machine gun still fires from time to time but at one point I lived under a constant barrage. From the time I woke up to the time I finally fell asleep, the self-hatred never ceased. Jesus is amazing and has set me free, but there is more. I know there is more and I will continue to pursue the more until I am walking in all of the freedom that was purchased for me on the cross.
“For the LORD will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught.”
Proverbs 3:26 NKJV
So now that that bit is out of the way it’s time to get down to the meat of it. As I’ve been sitting here and pondering what practical, real-life example I could use I realize that there are too many to number. Surely I am not the only one that is attacked this way. Which makes it (somewhat) easier to be vulnerable here. I wish that I could say that I have everything all together all the time but that’s just not true. It was just last evening while I was reading Proverbs with my girls that this verse really began to come alive to me. What I write to you each week is the very thing that God is speaking to me about personally.
I need to find my confidence in Him and only Him. He is the only thing that is unchanging. He is the only One that is unshaken. He is infinite. Nothing can move Him off of His throne. But what about the throne in our hearts? Is He in His rightful place there or have we replaced Him with other things? Is Jesus the center or are my children, my husband, my job? Is Jesus the center or are the things that I do for Him? It’s not always bad things that usurp our King, many times they are just inferior.
Self-confidence will only get us so far, my friends. It is always shaky ground, but godfidence (confidence in our God) will keep us walking in the victory that was purchased with the precious blood of our King.
“Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT
I don’t know a single person that gets all jazzed up about their weaknesses. Personally, I’m not a fan of mine in the least. But then again it’s not about me (or you for that matter). It’s about God, His work in and through us, His Kingdom, His will, and in all these things my weaknesses are a canvas for His strength.
I wish I had some super awesome, practical three-step process in which we can find our confidence in Him and not our own abilities but it’s not that complicated. Just know Him and when you think you have a good handle on who He is, go and know Him some more. That’s where your confidence will be found. How can you trust someone that you don’t know? How can you place your confidence in someone you have never spent time with? If you want to walk in godfidence you must walk with God.
When the thoughts come; when your confidence is rattled, get back up and know Him more. That’s where our freedom is found, not in our own abilities but in His. He is worth pursuing. Keep seeking and you will keep finding, there is no end to the wonders of our God. It’s time we plant our feet there, firmly on His foundation, and stand confident in His ability to keep us, regardless of the wind and the rain. He is able and He is willing, are we?
It can be intimidating, scary even to place our trust in something other than ourselves, but let’s get real for a moment…We were never made to carry all of this pressure. That’s why we falter! We weren’t made to do it. But our God…our God has exceedingly strong shoulders. The mountains that you are facing are microscopic to Him, the trials and tribulations, the pain and distress, they are nothing in the face of the One who spoke the universe into existence. He is good and He is for you! It’s high time we move out of His way!
So beloved, when we find our confidence shaken it is merely a sign that we have placed it in the wrong thing. Get back up and stand firm on the One who cannot be moved.
“But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence.”
Jeremiah 17:7 NLT
Written by Amanda Strauser